CLICK HERE FOR PROTECTIVE CURSE

Scroll down for TEN NEWer ELECTRIC DREAMS!

 
 

HUGE NEWS:  No Updated Dream Diary!?  No More Dreams!?
NOT UNLESS YOU ACT NOW TO FREE JIF JOHNSON
 URGENT! CLICK HERE TO SAVE THIS SITE!
 

---

Hey!  Take a goddamn look at the goddamn Elecdreamater(TM)!
(for the more intelligent science-types only)
 Click here, I'm not even kidding!

---

NEW!!! Click here for Jif's FAQ!!

---

About ME, JIF JOHNSON!
plus a new report FROM the FUTURE
 Click here to learn about JIF

---

Brand SPANKING New:
XXX Adults Only Electric Dreams XXX
 click here for the future of naughty dreams

---

Another item:
strong enough for a man but made for a woman
ELECTRIC DREAMS FOR GIRLS
  CLICK HERE LADIES ONLY

---

NEW!!!  THIS IS NOT A THREAT.
Fresh off the spegWeb Summit High comes an email for the future!
 Obituaries from the Future for Jibangus' Managers!!

---

Sir Roland's TIPS on HOW TO SLEEP
It doesn't change.  You do.
 click here for TIPS

---

Check out JIF'S OWN DREAM DIARY!!!!
Often Updated--NEVER Duplicted
Dream Diary Click here!!!!
Analyze the keeper of your future's unconscious!
**Winner of the 2001 Jibangus Literary Prize**

---

* FEATURE PRESENTATION *
 

A PERSONAL LETTER FROM JIF JOHNSON TO YOU:

Dear Computer-Savvy Countrymen,

In the future everything will be computerized.  When a bird is run over you'll see the wires and green chips.  If you drop a glass you just pick up the shards, put them in a pile back in the cupboard, open the door again, and there's your glass!  If you put your ear to a shell you'll hear whirring noises. People won't be able to work their own shoes unless they go to a technical school and only half the world will be able to afford their own shit!

In order to furnish the future men and women of the Internet with dreams I have started this catalog of dreamy items.  I will be adding dreams and dream-related things so check back often.  So far, we've got pictures of the future-dreams, my dream diary, my research, an interview, bedtime stories, and tips for how to fall asleep.  What will the future hold?  DREAMS!  Haven't you been LISTENING?!

Welcome to Jif Johnson's web page, ELECTRIC JEANS.
 
 

Yours in cyber-hope,

Jif Johnson,
Americano

NEWer NEWer NEWer NEWer NEWer

dream 037: knockknock? who there? Electric Dreams!  NEWer
 Electric_Relatives.jpg

dream 036:  some people like Nature dreams--yuck-o. NEWer
 Big_Bang_Toad2001.jpg

dream 035: put this future baby in a HIGH chair! (crazy dream) NEWer
 Future_ElectricBaby.jpg

dream 034: this will make you cry in your future-bed!  Ho Ho!  NEWer
 Future_Birthy2001.jpg

dream 033: electric rat people can be a good nightmare for bad kids.  NEWer
 Electric_RatfinkDream.jpg

dream 032:  foreign people need dreams too.  Thank me later!  NEWer
 Future_Stork2001.jpg

dream 031: this is a good dream for bedwetters and old people AND drunks!  NEWer
 Pooper_pal_USA.jpg

dream 030: have a dream about your existential dilemma. NEWer
 Electric_DesertStorm.GIF

dream 029: girls can dream about this future-boy--he's cool. NEWer
 Little_BoyBlue_2002.jpg

dream 028: everyone needs a good rugged homo-electric nightmare now and then...  NEWer
 Axe_About_Dream.JPG
 

NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW
 

dream 027: In the future you'll dream YOU'RE a computer too!  NEW
  Do Robots Dream.jpg

dream 026: here's the happiest dream any boy could ever have. NEW
 Electric Happy2001.jpg

dream 025: This is another haunting dystopia type dream--sorry! NEW
 Robot BigBrother.gif

dream 024: this is a dream for Granny. She thought computers were a fad! DUMMY!!  NEW
  Granny2D 2001.jpg

dream 023: I'm so scared of this dream! What's going on here???? NEW
 Future Initiation.jpg

dream 022: if you don't worry about your teeth in the future who will?  NEW
 Dentist 4 Robots.jpg

dream 021: this dream is for adopted people.  NEW
  Adopted dream2001.jpg

dream 020: in the future we'll need people who dream of being laborers.  NEW
  Electric Garbagemen.jpg

dream 019: you can remember Christmas with this electric dream!  NEW
 Merry Future Xmas.jpg

dream 018: Jif Johnson loves ALL the ladies!  Big girls REALLY need dreams.  NEW
 BigGirls Have future Dreams.jpg

dream 017: WAR what is it good for? DREAMS!  NEW
 War with Electric Future.jpg

dream 016: you can dream about your electric bread. NEW
  3D Electric BedtimeSnak.jpg

dream 015: boring dreams need a future too. Now my boss OWES ME!  NEW
 Golf 2001.jpg

dream 014: crucifixion ain't no fiction? In your dreams, buddy!  NEW
Jesus Needs dreams.jpg
 

archived dreams:

dream 013: a dream homage from the future--thank you future!
 Big_Jif_Future.jpg

dream 012: what are little future boys made of? oil? No, dreams!
 Boys_Want2_Dream.gif

dream 011: this will be very tasty in the future! You'll eat a pillow!
 Dancing_Strawberries.jpg

dream 010: from this past to your future's bedroom door vvrrrrroooom!!
 Delivering_Dreams.jpg

dream 009: if you think Japan is deeply odd, wait until the FUTURE!
 Eat_My_Electric_Face.gif

dream 008: not all dreams are good oh no! But what's good w/o bad?
 Electric_BadDream.jpg

dream 007: in the future we'll really be in need of outlets! Get it?
 Electric_DirtyDream.jpg

dream 006: in dreams we can hold onto our primitive rituals, thanks to me!
 Jif_o_Lantern2001.gif

dream 005: this is a good dream to give to your future children--Rated G*
 Kiddy_Dream.jpg

dream 004: this is just a dream! Rap will live forever!! Yeah bu-oy!
 RapFuture77x7x2001.jpg

dream 003: some people will want strange dreams--you gottit buddy!
 Sailor_Moo_Future.jpg

dream 002: who's gonna clean up after all this electric dreaming?
 Wonder_Wife_2001.jpg

dream 001: you won't have to count sheep but you can count lamb!
 Yummy_LambDream.jpg
 

You'll have to click on the underlined blue or purple names to see the dreams
then hit the BACK button because I don't know how to do it. I'm a dope!

*not really rated G. There's a creepy factor.

bedtime snack recommendations:
ham, ribs, beer
 

LOOKY!!!  This part's pretty awesome.

I think you'll want to read these stories to your future children or if babysitting.
 Bedtime_Stories click here
(click on it to read them)

Maybe you should remember the dreams you like so that in the future you can get the right ones.  You will also need to hide a normal, non-computerized blanket and pillow.  Electric blankets are a grey area--use with caution.  If you don't see any dreams you like don't worry!  We have from now until the future (which actually I don't mind telling you isn't that far away!) to come up with something you like.  Anyway, you can't pick and choose your dreams now can you?  So quit whining.  Actually, you don't deserve dreams at all.
 

P.S.  If you like rock but have a southern accent or if you think southern accents rock, check out my  band, HAMMERDOWN TURPENTINE at http://www.mj12.net/hdt/   We have a CD and 7" for sale if you can figure out how to order it.  We play in San Francisco so if you live here, watch for us at Bottom of the Hill or wherever.  If you want to contact me I'm not at all sure I want to hear from you, especially at work.  Therefore, contact me at jifjohnson@jibangus.com and they'll filter out the pornographers and psychopathic isolates.  Thanky.

Dates:   Paradise Lounge, April 8 and  Bottom of the Hill, May 8 .  We'll be back at the Paradise Lounge on June 5th and then at Doc's Clock (Mission & 22nd) on June 17.  After that?  Shit man, I don't know.  Come get drunk and rock out with Jif!  Tell me you came because you saw this site and I'll avoid you the rest of the night!  Blarf!

Below you'll find some

Dreams tested on dogs.
Side-effects included disturbing exhibitionism, heartworm.

 
 

Some dogs may experience headloss.
Similar experiments to be conducted on humans, subjects wanted.
Contact jifjohnson@jibangus.com to do your part for science and e-dreams.
 

spit at screen, add up the areas where spittle falls then divide by dream constant.
 
 

WARNING * WARNING * WARNING * WARNING

DO NOT look directly at these dreams
UNLESS you have completed the in-house
Elecdreamater(TM) training program.

this is a
I wrote about my catalog of Electric Dreams:
 
 

this is a letter to the future
 

Dear future,
This is copyrighted* so don't think about even maybe stealing my idea just because I'm from the past!  Your dreams will STINK!

*Not really.  And listen, if you're from the magazine or whatever it is called Electric Dreams or from that movie about a computer that falls in love or some such nonsense, you can afford to leave me alone.  Before I checked, I assumed "Electric Dreams" would be a porno site.  I might as well make it clear that Jif Johnson has nothing to do with peanut butter nor portable toilets.

ONE LAST THING:  An interview with Jif Johnson.
Recorded 12/6/00 by DreamLab CEO, Niles Rudder.

Niles: What is dream and of what does its essence consist?
Jif:  When?
Niles:  What do you mean, "When"?
Jif:  I mean are you talkin' now or in the future?
Niles:  Well, both, insofar as we assume the constancy of the phenomenon in question.
Jif:  I don't know about that but if you mean the future then it's me, Jif Johnson.
Niles:  What's you?
Jif:  Whatever you said in the beginning.

********************************

Take me to the top, Jif...Clickly

hGhGhGhGhGhGhGhGhGh
 

<>!*
via jifjohnson@jibangus.com
 

017837666  visits since 1/1/2001
There will be no more updates until Jif is freed.

Why not visit these powerful sites?
THANKY LINKS...
 

http://www.jibangus.com/
http://www.bekkoame.ne.jp/~aabb/plus9.html
http://www.misterpants.com/
http://www.memepool.com/
http://www.io.com/~royt/astro/ship/indship.html
http://www.sketchzilla.com/
http://www.boingboing.net/
http://www.wrongwaygoback.com/